Norsham Mohd was born into a Muslim family but began doubting Islam at age 18 and within a year stopped practicing Islamic rituals entirely. She is now 56 years old, still an ex-Muslim, and reached out to us to share her story.
“I asked her a lot of questions hoping to get some answers but I never got any. Instead all I got was negative remarks about the kafir and the non-believers.”Q: Hi Norsham, thank you so much for agreeing to talk about your experience with us. To start, can you share how you ended up as a Muslim?
A: Both my parents are Muslim. So I’m a Muslim by birth.
What was life like for you as a Muslim? What was compulsory, what was forbidden and what was most important?
Growing up there was nothing much to say. We were taught how to pray and fast. We were also send to the local madrasah at a nearby mosque for our religious classes and reciting of the Quran. My mother too often would teach us recitation at home.
When then did you first start having doubts about Islam? What triggered your doubts?
When I was about 18 years old while in nursing school. I saw people in pain, abandonment and neglect. I was disturbed by what I saw. I turned to my religious teacher—I used to attend religious classes at the neighbourhood, twice a week and always in the evening—I asked her a lot of questions hoping to get some answers but I never got any. Instead all I got was negative remarks about the kafir and the non-believers.
How long did it take you to go from doubting Islam to deciding you were no longer a believer? What pushed you to the point of no return?
Didn’t take very long but I cannot tell you the time frame. By the time I graduated from nursing school, say 2 years, I stopped practising. I was not happy with what I saw and hear especially during the religious sermons.
How does one leave Islam? Did you have to do anything special to become a non-Muslim?
Well in Singapore, you can renounce legally, that is you need to do a Statutory Declaration, then submit the SD to MUIS [Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura (Islamic Religious Council of Singapore)]. And MUIS will give you a cert/documents to certify that you are no longer a Muslim and have your name taken out from the Muslim registry.
How did the people closest to you react to your decision to leave the religion? And how did you react to their reactions?
They’re not happy obviously. They stop inviting me to their outings or to their houses. They don’t talk as much to me as before. How I react? I understand their reaction and honestly I don’t blame them. I am seen as a traitor… a person who betrayed their faith. There is nothing much I can do about it because I do not depend on them and my life does not revolve around them.
What’s life like for you now that you’re an ex-Muslim? Do you think it’s better, or worse?
My life is good now that I’ve moved away from the faith. Nobody will force me to do something I don’t like. And yes it’s for better.
Which 3 people or things in your life are most important to you right now?
My family, including my siblings, My cats and my business.
Which item, bought or received after you stopped believing in Islam, has been most useful to you?
Nothing. Can’t think of any now or perhaps my baju kurongs. I still treasure them.
Can you list 3 things you realised only after leaving Islam?
1–You can be good without religion.
2–You can still have your peace of mind without religion.
3–Stories told to me were so ridiculous, I am wondering how come I believed in them when they were related to me initially.
Is there anybody you presently look up to, who you would like to learn from?
My husband.
Lastly, what is your perspective on life and the afterlife now?
My perspective on life: I do not want to spend my time asking “What is the purpose of my life”. Instead I would say: this is how my life has become, this is what I have, what can I do now to make my life more meaningful and productive?
About the afterlife: I do not believe there is an afterlife.
Norsham hopes to be able to help other ex-Muslims in the future, “especially those still in the closet”. You can try to find her on Facebook through her profile page “Norsham Mohd”, or ask her questions about leaving Islam using the comment box below.
More interviews with people who have left habits, lifestyles and religions available here.
Photographs courtesy and copyright of Norsham Mohd, William Cho. Interviewer: Sy
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Proud of u for having the courage to do what you really believe in..
Interesting! However, I still don’t quite understand the reason she left Islam. She went to nursing school, saw atrocious acts and asked her religion teachers for advice and got none. I’m so confused.
Perhaps it contradicted what she was taught, Karl? Let me ask her if she would like to give you more details.
In reply to Karl Jean-Baptiste who said “I still do not quite understand the reason she left Islam”
“I turned to my religious teacher—I used to attend religious classes at the neighbourhood, twice a week and always in the evening—I asked her a lot of questions hoping to get some answers but I never got any. Instead all I got was negative remarks about the kafir and the non-believers” This is what I said earlier.
This whole experience with the religious teacher made me to reflect. I was hoping to get some compassionate reply but what I got was negativity. They are obsess with hell and punishment of non believers and such. It made me to look at this religion call Islam and its teachings.
My apology as I did not give details about my nursing experience. As i see it, in nursing I went through transformation. The change which happen from within. Nursing is not just a career but like a “religion” to me. A passion that made me who and what I am today. When I put on my nursing uniform, this muslim girl “died”. She became a nobody but what she represent : somebody who is not align with any politics, religion, race and whatever. It makes me feel good. Eventually it became a norm. The Islamic part drop gradually as it becomes so irrelevant. Pain and suffering goes beyond religion. I dont need a religion that keep reminding me about punishment and suffering in the afterlife.