What It’s Like Surviving A Major Traffic Accident

7 years ago, Caren Robinson got into a car to pick her daughters up from a sleepover and soon after got into an accident that left her with polytrauma and traumatic brain injury. We asked her how she recovered and what the process was like. 

Q: Hi Caren, thanks for being here to share your experience with us today! To start, could you tell us a little about yourself and how you ended up in that traffic accident that changed your life?

A: Thank you, Sara, for having me here. I am a Certified Holistic Life Career and Executive Coach; a co-host on a Brain Injury Radio show, and I am the founder of an educational website bringing awareness to Polytrauma and Brain Injury for the HOPE’sters of the world.

I really appreciate you reaching out to me about my story. This story is regarding an event that changed the trajectory of my life without warning. That question about how I ended up in the traffic accident remains a mystery to some degree as I have no recollection of the wreck at all. That used to bother me the first few years… trying to piece everything back together; trying to remember how I ended up in a head on collision; why my seatbelt failed, and I was ejected; how and why I survived such a catastrophic event, and why I couldn’t remember anything about any of it. It seemed like a complete dream, but the pain was very real.

What injuries did you sustain as a result of your accident and how did it change your body hence on?

I had a plethora of injuries. I sustained a Polytrauma (injuries that affect more than one system of the body) and a Traumatic Brain Injury. The Polytrauma consisted of multiple soft tissue injuries, multiple Orthopedic fractures in my R wrist, R ribs, pelvis, spine, a shattered scapula and a bum left knee. The brain injury resulted in neuroendocrine changes, short and long term memory loss, cognitive changes, hypersomnia, insomnia… well changes to my sleep overall; and a neurogenic bladder among a laundry list of other things which still continue to reveal themselves as time goes on.

Everything about my body was different. Literally everything changed.

What were your thoughts when you first came to at the hospital? How did you think it would affect your life?

The first memory I have at the hospital is waking up to a silver metal Triangle hanging above me. The events I describe remembering, my family has told me was about a week after I had already been in the hospital. I didn’t know where I was at or why. None of it made sense. I was in so much pain and apparently the medical staff was unable to get my pain under control… even with an epidural and being heavily medicated.

I don’t think I had a concept of how it would affect my life at that point because I still didn’t have a full understanding about what had happened to me.

How did the accident really affect your life in the end? How long did it take you to recover from your injuries and what did you have to do to get better?

Wow, that first question is a tough one. I could easily get lost in dark thoughts on that one; that is something I fight against continually… that rabbit hole that rears its head and tries to pull me down into that dark vortex about how much I have lost.

However, I guess I would have to say that this experience has afforded me the blessing of believing in miracles and the wonder of humanity; it has provided me opportunities I would not have been able to experience had it not been for the recovery process itself; it has helped me to look at gratitude for life in a deeper personal way than I did before; advocate for myself in different ways than before; meet amazing people; experience medical miracles, medical injustices, and still hold onto HOPE as my distinct path to my lifeline.

There are some injuries that will be lifelong. I still have a nonunion fracture at T6 in my spine that the specialists have told me cannot be repaired. I also have some herniations, bulges, and stenosis I deal with. Chronic pain and I have an intimate relationship and I don’t get around as well as I used to. However, I am grateful to still be able to do things independently again.

To get better I had to believe in myself and what I knew about myself and not get caught up in ignorance from those who were not actually in my body. I had to be committed to the recovery process with physical, occupational, recreational, speech, and pool therapies.

I have benefited from counseling that involved CBT and Mindfulness focused care with someone that was experienced with dealing with complex medical traumas and PTSD. I have had to research my injuries and seek out qualified medical care to address a multitude of treatments, tests, and be willing to explore unconventional and alternative treatment plans as well. I have had to stay loyal to the strategies that I learned from my speech therapists, and advocate fiercely for myself, and continue to educate myself.

I have maintained a Blog about my experiences and sought to help others tell their stories as well. I essentially began a trek to reinvent myself with HOPE and Faith being the driving factors, along with my stubborn desire to LIVE and never give up.

What was your routine while you were trying to heal from your injuries and what is your routine like today?

Apparently, initially my routine included asking the same questions over and over about what happened to me and where I was. Each time I woke up I asked the same questions for a few weeks. It involved 3 months in a Level 1 Trauma Center, then Neuro-Rehab Center, and massive amounts of therapy, and insurmountable pain. I slept a LOT. I could hardly stay awake. That later would turn to insomnia and then become a crazy mix of the two. I had to learn everything again: walking, bathing, self-care, toileting, eating, and managing my pain. The routine involved lots of medications, mostly for pain, uncontrollable muscle spasms, and being bedridden. It involved multiple reconstructive surgeries, of my ribs, R shoulder and several broken teeth repairs. My routine was to heal and accept that I had to let others care for my body because I wasn’t able to at the time.

The routine today involves managing my spoons. If you get the chance… Google “The Spoon Theory”. This was the best way I could describe how I felt to my family and friends about my new lack of energy and how I had to manage it. I am still involved with counseling, though have plateaued a bit on all the different specialists needed. My routine involves a lot less medications, a mindset to accomplish as much as possible with the spoons I have for the day. It involves being more independent than the year before, learning new things, keeping up on medical discoveries around my injuries, being the best mom that I can to my kids, cherishing the relationship I have with my husband, and finding a way to add value to the world despite the limitations of my physical body while pacing myself.

How long did it take you to get over the shock of sustaining traumatic brain injury and polytrauma? What helped you get over it?

I don’t think that this is something you ever “get over the shock of”. The shock comes in waves and becomes less constant as time goes on, yet still remains in the shadows. You just learn to adapt and radically accept the new normal and learn to focus your energy on moving forward with your life.

Healing continues. I still deal with emotional upheavals and endocrine challenges. Cognitively, I truly believe new neuropathways are still forming. I see this in the way I am able to perform with what I am able to accomplish in some things I wasn’t able to do, even 3 years ago. This keeps me hopeful. Yet there are challenges and hurdles that are still there to keep me humble and mindful of the realities I now embrace as a part of this new life. My memory and processing speed is still a challenge to keep on top of, yet I have enough tools to help me keep this mostly managed.

I don’t think I am “over it” as much as I continue to adapt to it. I get whispers of normalcy some days and other days I just can’t seem to get out of bed. Most days I end up pushing myself to accomplish because I have a life to live, responsibilities, and goals for myself. Other times I get overwhelmed and flooded and combating with the fatigue can feel like digging a hold in water. It helps to take baby steps. Baby steps lead to baby steps, which lead to having a purpose. Having a focus, a purpose, a calling is imperative to being able to get from day to day and moment to moment.

Which 3 objects or people were most useful when you were trying to recover from your injuries?

My family would have to count as one because it was truly a team effort between my husband, my mom, my nephew, and my kids.

The second item or object would have to be a purple blanket my brother got me while I was in the hospital. I kind of see it as my good luck charm. I have taken it with me to literally every surgery or major medical appointment; I have had and use it on road trips still to this day to make me feel safe and help keep me calm.

The final thing is an object – the word HOPE. Fixating on HOPE has gotten me through, and still remains a focus of importance for me.

Which place was most useful?

Being able to be home was the most useful. Even though I was in a hospital bed at home, I had 24-hour care from people who really loved me and helped me stay focused on the end result, with time to heal. They bathed me, dressed me, cared for me in literally every way. It is the place I feel the safest.

What setbacks did you have along your journey of recovery and how did you move past those?

Wow. Too many setbacks to count. I know there were many that happened while I was inpatient that I don’t even remember. My family tells me about those. I almost died more than once. A lot of touch and go. The parts I do remember though as the biggest setbacks, was fighting with insurance and dealing with dishonest insurance agents who misrepresented the facts, options, and what our rights were.

Other setbacks included whack healthcare providers with tunnel vision, lack of proper follow through on my injuries, missing diagnosing injuries properly, not having the knowledge to help me with my particular injuries, and delayed treatment.

I moved past these setbacks with sheer determination, lots of emotional meltdowns, immense pain and physical decompensation, loss of body functions, and determination to not accept no as an answer to getting fixed. Finding providers who actually listened and believed me.

We were persistent with educating ourselves about the no-fault laws and our rights; advocating for myself, researching my injuries and getting in contact with amazing healthcare providers and amazing surgeons who actually cared about their patients. I learned to use my voice and speak up for myself. I learned to trust my body and what it was telling me. My family and I took copious notes and kept track of everything since I couldn’t completely depend on my memory. Eventually we ended up having to utilize the services of an Attorney and a Medical Case Manager (that we picked out) – which I highly recommend by the way.

There were so many people that have helped me move past the hardest parts. My counselors, Primary Care Physicians willing to advocate for me; a strong medical support team; and the love of my family and sacrifice of their time for sure.

The turning point of a lot of my physical recovery processes were when I got my ribs plated with Titanium and 40 locking screws in 2014 (10 months after the wreck) at Spectrum Health in Michigan.

Then, after much delay we met Dr. Peter Cole with Regions Hospital in MN. Dr. Cole did 3 of my reconstructive surgeries in 2016 utilizing stainless steel plates, screws, and cadaver compound – a truly fascinating process. I had gone 2 years with a shattered scapula and losing function in my right arm. I also ended up having a fractured Acromion plated as well. He gifted me back the use of my right shoulder and arm with his skills. I will be forever grateful to him and his trauma team. I would also like to add that he had an amazing bedside manner as well… as did his whole team.

Another turning point was with vision therapy and prism glasses from a Neuro-Ophthalmologist. This was a game changer for sure for the lack of balance, nausea, cognitive fatigue, and headaches. Then again, getting the root canals and crowns done helped resolve a lot of physical pain in that region of my body too. Again, having good knowledgeable providers really makes a difference.

What did you learn from this life-changing accident that you didn’t know before?

I didn’t know I was capable of taking and tolerating the level of pain that I have endured for so long. I have learned what it means to be disabled and to live with disabilities; how the world is not fully prepared to accommodate or understand people with certain disabilities.

If you could go back and replay everything you did to heal from your injuries all over again, what would you do differently?

I would have stayed in the hospital longer and my family would have demanded more aggressive treatment of my injuries before releasing me to Neuro-Rehab. We would have gotten vision testing from a Neuro-Ophthalmologist, audiology testing, and reconstructive surgeries, and oral care without waiting on insurance. Educated ourselves about our rights and the laws while still in hospital. I would want my family to take more pictures so I could piece more together. Gotten support for my family so they weren’t doing everything themselves.

What advice do you have for those who are presently coping with traumatic brain injury and polytrauma too? And what advice do you have for their family and friends?

The advice I would offer is that healing takes time. Be patient with yourself. Find your voice with your providers, with your family, and with your friends. Find a way to tell your story. Trust what you know about your own body. Ask for help. Work with a Speech Therapist. Find a Neuro-Ophthalmologist; see an Audiologist; Get Lab work to check Hormones and a thorough Thyroid Panel. Consider using a weighted blanket, blindfold, ear plugs and sunglasses to help with Brain Injury symptoms. If it is possible, acquire a SPECT CT scan from Cerescan or a similar organization. Join the Brain Injury Association group in your State or Country. Find a support group either online, face to face, or both. Ask questions. Use a notebook to write things down. Speak out loud about your symptoms. Don’t keep them to yourself. Pace yourself.

Develop a routine with the patient. Be patient with repeated questions and lack of memory. Take them seriously and do not pre-judge them and assume you know how they are feeling… ask. Accept that just because you may not be able to see an injury doesn’t mean they don’t have one. Establish a routine that allows you to take care of yourself. Acquire a Medical Case Manager. Help them keep track of medications. Don’t take their mood changes personally. Don’t take personality changes personally. Recognize that their effort may be inconsistent based on how they are feeling from moment to moment or day to day. Be willing to advocate for them or speak for them when they can’t speak for themselves. Get to know their patient rights with the facility they are in or involved with.

Lastly, how are you doing these days?

These days I am feeling blessed and interested in continuing the process of bettering myself. I am feeling fortunate that neither myself or my family members have ended up with COVID-19 yet or suffered to the extent that other families have during this Pandemic. I am fortunate enough to be alive and able to think for myself, dress myself, do my own toileting, and have a different quality of life… but a life worth living.

I am committed to bringing awareness to Polytrauma and Brain Injury. I am focused on building my Coaching business. I am also still grateful for the pain I feel still because it keeps me fresh, aware, and thankful that I am still present and able to feel my body still.

I still struggle. Some days are easier than others. Some days are harder than the day before. Every day is a new opportunity to better myself and develop healthy habits. I like to say, “any day above ground is a good day”. Keeping my attitude and mentality focused on positivity, possibility, and creating a culture of compassion and awareness is a way I hope to pay it forward to the Universe and the Global Community. Here I am, never giving up. Never giving up HOPE.

Caren is working on managing her weight and getting off the cardiac meds she is on this year. Her goal is to make it to the end of 2021 without COVID and without dying; to build her business and accomplish some educational milestones. You can follow her journey through this on her websites www.hopetbi.com and www.vitalability.com, or ask her anything you would like to know about polytrauma and brain injury using the comment box below.  

Other interviews with Caren:
Q: What Do You Plan To Do In 2021? 

More interviews with people who’ve been through life’s challenges here.

Photograph copyright of Caren Robinson. Interviewer: Sy
Want to be featured too? Tell us here.
If you found this article useful: